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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27913573">take me home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/happypuppys/pseuds/happypuppys'>happypuppys</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the dream team fics [47]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, he thinks about suicide in this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:14:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>629</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27913573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/happypuppys/pseuds/happypuppys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The lava bubbles underneath his feet. </p><p>The light reflects in his eyes, and he can hear the sounds of the Nether portal to the side of him, but all he can focus on is the lava that invites him in.</p><p>or, Tommy wonders when he'll finally get to choose</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the dream team fics [47]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913893</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>214</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>take me home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello massive tw this fic deals with tommy thinking about killing himself so please don't read if that will trigger you</p><p>this is from that moment in stream that he stared at lava for like an entire moment because literally. i may have cried? and may have cried writing this? anyways its nearly 5am and this is what im spending my birthday doing lol</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lava bubbles underneath his feet. </p><p>The light reflects in his eyes, and he can hear the sounds of the Nether portal to the side of him, but all he can focus on is the lava that invites him in.</p><p><em> What would happen, if I died? </em> He thinks to himself, making a list of pros and cons, and the cons list is short, shorter than it should be. It’s all he can consist of, and it consists of two things: he wouldn’t be able to talk to his friends any more, and he would miss Willbur. The pros list is long, nearly overflowing in his mind, and he can easily list a few. Tubbo would be able to run his country without interference, Dream could continue on with his plan, Wilbur wouldn’t have someone bothering him anymore, Techno wouldn’t have someone bothering him any more, the list goes on. <em> Who would cry over me? </em></p><p>The lava stares up at him, and it’s nearly enchanting.</p><p>He’s too busy staring down and thinking about whether he wants to die today or not to hear the sounds of someone coming back through the portal, and he only finds this out when someone shoves him and he stumbles away from the edge. When he glances, just for a second, it’s Dream, the man’s mask pushed up on his face to show a frown in his expression. He waits, and slowly, quietly, Tommy steps back to look over the edge.</p><p>He wants to leave this world. Jumping into the lava is so fucking enticing that he can nearly feel his mouth watering at the thought. What would be the cons? He’d be dead, and that’s all that matters. No one would have to deal with him. Tubbo wouldn’t be forced to choose between his country and him. Ranboo wouldn’t be forced to nearly get looped into small pranks that turn into shit like <em> this </em>.</p><p>It’d be better off if he was dead.</p><p>A hand wraps around his wrist and pulls him back, and he lets him, and only stumbles slightly as Dream keeps the grip secure around his wrist.</p><p>“It’s not your time to die yet.” He says quietly, his mask hiding his eyes, his hood pulled over his face, but Tommy can see the frown in his expression, can hear the quiet pain in his voice.</p><p><em> It never is. </em> He thinks bitterly to himself. He’s always the hero of the city, the one made to stop everything and save everyone. He’s the one made to make sure everyone is okay, to always be the one to do everything. He’s made to be a leader, a hero, but he’s not that, he’s not either of those things. He’s no damn hero, he’s <em> 16 </em>. He barely knows how to work a sword and shoot a bow and arrow correctly, and yet here he is, on exile from his own land, the ones he created with his brother, forced away. He just wants to be a teenager. He wants to play pranks and do stupid shit, but instead, he’s been forced to fight, forced to run, forced to decide when and how he’s going to do things, and he hates it. He’s been made the hero of this story, and he should get to choose when and how he dies.</p><p>He’s been made the hero, but he’s being played like a puppet on strings.</p><p>“It’s never my time.” He says quietly, yanking his arm out of Dream’s grasp, and he walks away before Dream can see him blinking the tears out his eyes and wiping the blood off his arms.</p><p>He wants to have a choice, for once. He wants to decide something in this story, and if that is his death, then so be it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i changed my user on tumblr im now <a href="https://nekoranboo.tumblr.com/">nekoranboo</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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